god pity the damage of calamity jane

If you're reading this, you know that the url is caitastrophejane. I think I'm really funny, you see, because it's like Calamity Jane. And Jane is my middle name. And then Caitastrophe is like Caitlin and Catastrophe. I think I'm soooo clever. I did not really know much about Calamity Jane, I just thought it was kind of badass. But, I just finished reading Deadwood by Pete Dexter, which is the book the series Deadwood was based on.
Calamity Jane in that book is a sad tomato. She's obsessed with Wild Bill and he just ignores her. She claims to have been married to him but no one can find any proof. She cries a lot. In real life, she was apparently immune to smallpox and went around nursing people who were sick. In the book there is an implication that she is actually a carrier of the disease, because about 2 weeks after she shows up anywhere there is an outbreak. She's not happy unless she is taking care of other people, and somewhat paradoxically, she is described as mannish. Granted, she's not going to win any beauty contests.
But I'm pretty crushed by this whole revelation. I thought she was all a wearing man clothes, fightin the red man, gun slingin', whiskey swillin, hitching post at the saloon, don't-fuck-with-me, wild west broad. Turns out she was just as much of a sniffling sad sack as the rest of us.

I'm told that her character in Deadwood the series is slightly less pathetic, but obviously, none more attractive. She looks like a bag lady and she's sloppy drunk the whole time. According to something that I came across in my ongoing efforts to find some CJ redeeming qualities I also learned that in Season 3 they make her gay. Of course. Because someone who looks like that could never be straight. I mean, really, what man would want her? Not Wild Bill. And that dude even had gonorrhea.

What a disappointment.

If she lived now, what would be her modern equivalent?