Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Romance Update

Since in the last 12 hours I have received about 3 times as many hits as I usually get in a week, I thought I might let y'all know what's going on with my mystery admirer.
I spent time speculating with my mom and with various friends about who this character might be. We decided that he is under 35. A dude. Literate. Either has a job or is unemployed. Either is crazy or not. Either attractive or unattractive. The email address given suggests Brooklyn, not Staten Island as his actual locale. There was also some concern that this is someone I know, or worse, one of my many failed dating endeavors trying to come back in a different way. Also, some of my friends suggested that it may be completely fake as there was some deception in the Griffin and Sabine books, which I have not read since I was 13 so cannot remember.
Anyway, I emailed him. A brief email leaving the door open for him to share what information about himself he wishes and providing not much more in the way of info about myself as we are clearly on an uneven playing field.

OMG



A producer from The People's Court just called me re: my case. More as this story develops.


Update: The producer is going to contact my landlord and then let me know. Since he wouldn't have to pay anything, I'm sure he'll eat it up. Stay tuned!

Update #2: Turns out this isn't quite as fun as I had hoped. My roommate is really really angry with me for suing the landlord. Like, really angry. She does not think we'll get our security deposit back, thinks we won't be able to use him as a reference and is just generally irate. She has apparently listened to the landlord too much and also does not think it's his responsibility. She has blamed me from the start, like I went to the crackhouse and bought bedbugs though, so I'm not really surprised. However, it has started to make me doubt my convictions. Anyone with some legal knowledge or general free time can feel free to do some research. Am I doing the right thing?

The Secret


Some of the people who read this blog know that I have a tendency towards what could best be described as gullibility. I watch a good Discovery channel special and I am easily swayed towards whatever the strongest point made was. The Shroud of Turin is my usual example of this, because I watched a special on PBS one time and was immediately convinced that the Shroud of Turin is, in fact, the burial cloth of Jesus. People make fun of me. People don't believe me. My roommate and I got in a fight about it. Then we watched another special about the shroud of turin. I no longer believe that it is Jesus' burial shroud, now I believe that it was a fake created by Da Vinci. That's all it takes, a good special.
This gullibility is why I won't get my thetan levels tested when I see the Scientologists in the subway, I just know I'll walk away praising Xenu. It is why, to the annoyance of friends, that after I spend some time on the PETA website I spout off facts about pigs' intelligence and the health risks associated with dairy. (Which incidentally, my roommate and I got in a fight about, too.).
The point in this background is that when The Secret came along last year, I deliberately avoided it, knowing what would happen. I even mentioned in a blog that I was amused by people who were so into The Secret. Well, now I have all this time on my hands and a library card, so you can imagine what has happened.
Take away the bs about The Universe and all you have is your basic positive thinking. It's nothing revolutionary, which the illustrious Rhonda Byrne even points out: People have been using the power of the secret for centuries! But what I like about it is the concept that you attract to yourself what you put out there. When things happen to me, often times people will say, You're the only person I know who this would happen to. (Ex: Target Incident, That time I got arrested, pretty much every date I've ever been on). But if it works that way, it can work in my favor right?
So I have taken some of the things that stress me out about being unemployed: Lack of Money and Concern over finding a job, and turned them over to The Secret. And it's working! Money has literally showed up out of thin air. Not a lot, but enough to keep me going and not behind on my rent. Yesterday I was going to call some jobs that I had applied for to follow up, but I decided to wait. I took a nap, woke up and had two job interview requests! I don't even have to DO anything and the secret provides.
Which brings us to the latest gift (?) from the secret. Dating. Although I have been in an on-again off-again very casual relationship for the last 10 months, I have also been looking for something more serious. I have had some Serious. Major. oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-he-said-that Failures. And then an anonymous commenter shows up on my blog. My Site Meter sleuthing tells me he is from Staten Island. He references people I enjoy and asks me out for a drink. Has the secret brought someone into my life via blog? Or has the secret actually just brought me yet another creep who will invite me on vacation way before it's appropriate and in general just not get it. More importantly, should I accept?

I can say one thing definitively though: This would only happen to me.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Why my cats are like the democratic primaries

As the primaries for my state draw near, I find myself in the predicament facing many Americans: I am an undecided voter. I have two equally promising candidates, who have vastly different personalities. What I love about Hillary Clinton is quite a bit different from what I love about Barack Obama. But, who will ultimately win out in the caucus of my affections? Like many voters, I turn to my cats, Lucy and Linus, as I struggle through this year’s oh-so-important political decision.

Lucy, oh Lucy, my feline Hillary Clinton. Smart, doughy Lucy who I have had since I graduated college. Lucy whom I have loved since the beginning. But, sometimes, I am not so sure that Lucy loves me back. Sometimes, she seems to prefer my roommate, even though it is not my roommate who feeds her. Why is that Lucy? Your fleshy, spotted belly points to cat chow as one of your hot-button issues. Yet, night after night I see you curled up on Abby’s lap. Cat chow is to Lucy what health care is to Hillary Clinton. Hillary, your priorities would seem to be in one area, but your actions don’t always agree. Will I always see you curled up, fat and happy, in the lap of others who have not treated you as well as me? I woke up in the middle of the night, as I often do, to find Lucy curled up next to me in bed. At the end of the night, Lucy is always there. Ms. Clinton, when I wake up in 4 years, will you be curled up, shedding all over my pillow?

And then there is Linus, my furry Obama. Linus is slender, sleek and black, striking in a way it’s hard to put your finger on. But Linus is annoying. Why? Why are you always there with the kisses, getting in my way, throwing yourself prostrate on the floor, paws waving? But, Linus, when you stand on my dresser, hind legs poised to leap to a seemingly-unattainable balcony, I cannot help but think to myself: “oh, yes, The Audacity of Hope.” Barack, your dreams are big and inspiring, but are they attainable? Linus makes it to the balcony every time, will you?

Linus is the younger of the two, the one who probably has more life left in him. But there is something to be said for the indifference that can only come with age that Lucy has acquired. In reality, how much can and should be done with the problems in other countries. Isn't there something to be said for sitting on the arm of the couch, watching sunbeams drift across the living room, rousing only to demand more food? But, Linus' persistence is admirable. As the Obama posters and slogans assault me as I walk through my neighborhood, so is Linus' little nose literally in my face every morning, approximately 2 hours before I would like to wake up. He gets the job done though and I get up to give him food every time.

I sit here, looking at my cats and I am torn. I could not possibly say which of them I love more. But, if the future of my country depended on it would Lucy’s aloofness trump Linus’ figure eights that I trip over every morning. I can’t possibly say. And maybe the real decision lies in what my cats would think of the candidates. And ultimately it will probably come down to: Who will clean the litter box.

Friday, May 23, 2008

$15 and a dream: proud to be an American

I went down to the courthouse yesterday to pick up some forms to fill out so I could file a complaint against my landlord for not reimbursing me for bedbug costs.
I ended up suing him.
Who knew it was so easy? Not me. I didn't even take any of my receipts or paperwork because I figured I would have a bunch of papers to fill out and I would rather do it at home. But when I went to get info about they said I had to file a small claims suit. So I went to get the paperwork for that. Anyway, it's just one form where you just say what you're suing for, you pay your $15 and then that's it. My court date is June 25th.
I ended up adding other bedbug-related costs to the lawsuit. I just wanted him to reimburse me for the cost of the extermination which was a little over $400. But if I'm gonna file a lawsuit I figure I'd go all out. I had to buy a new bed, new pillows, the expensive mattress cover etc. So I put all that in too.
So that was yesterday AND I joined the Y. It was a pretty busy day which is why I justified sleeping...baaassically until 2 o'clock today.
Actually the sleeping too much is a little out of control, as it usually is, but it's making me too lethargic so I'm trying to snap out of it. Unfortunately, I have the self-control of an infant....but I'll try anyway.
I need a craft project for unemployment times. I've been reading a lot though. Currently I am reading a book about traumatic brain injury, which is interesting but I don't recommend because I am concerned that I and everyone I love will get brain injured and pretty much be screwed forever. I'm going to start encouraging people to wear a helmet while driving. And also while walking. And also while at home. Most accidents happen in the home. Stay safe. Keep your brain happy.

Friday, May 9, 2008

I am psychic



For the following reasons:
One, I was JUST writing about the Duggars and now they are having their 18th kid!! Love it!
Why so many kids? Why?
In the above picture they only have 14 kids.
All of their names start with J. Most of them aren't too bad except for poor Jinger. For some reason that spelling makes me think of a vaginal infection.


Two: I had a dream that I would get this job. Which would be great if it wasn't like an hour commute. Day after I had the dream, they called for an interview. Today I had the interview and basically have the job if I want it. More on that later, but I need to get some house cleaning done b/c my seester is coming tomorrow.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

mini-update.

I am obsessed with this blog One D at a time.
She posted today about the Schappell twins, and I highly recommend you read the post. Everything she writes about these twins is stuff I would say, and thus I believe provides immense insight into the core of my being. Seriously. I don't even know how to articulate that I think that my interest in freaks is possibly one of my most defining characteristics. Also, I just enjoy the blog in general so you should read it.
I have too many thoughts to blog about...but yes, the rumors are true, I am done with graduate school. Mostly I am just drained and confused and looking for a job, and there is too much to say about all of it blog about.
So I will write about my embarrassing political ignorance. Obama won the caucus in Guam. Guam has a caucus? Does that mean they have an election? Do they have electorates? They are not a state...does that mean Puerto Rico votes too? I do not understand. I am so woefully ignorant about all of this that it's shameful. This is the same thing that happened when I realized I could name all of the Duggar children and no one on the supreme court. I know all of this information about these conjoined twins and apparently nothing about our democratic process.
Ugh.
Also, I have a commentary about message board speak. Recently I have become personally offended by words I dislike (baby bump, snark, etc.). It turns out that that includes message board speak. I enjoy a LOLcat as much as the next girl. I can even slightly deal with things like "Pwned" etc. What I do not like are terms that they use on the weight watchers message boards as well as other message boards I have seen. DH=dear husband. DD=Dear daughter and so on. wtf? who would say that in real life. I think it makes the people who write that seem condescending and obnoxious. I'm getting angry just thinking about the type of person I imagine who would ever refer to their spouse as "my dear husband". I just got a little nauseous thinking that some people probably even say "dear hubby". Sick. I can't handle it. Why is it so distressing to me? No idea.
In happy news....blog readers will be pleased to note that because I am done with school and placement that I have re-entered unemployment. Can we look forward to another 6 months where Caitlin does nothing but watch cartoons, make crafts and write blogs about her thoughts?! We can only hope. But I think we would all agree that my blogs are best when I don't have a job, so get geared up.