Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Roommate Live Blog

So when I first moved in here my roommate liaison was Frank and he was the one I talked to the most. And then I learned that he is a huge huge slob (with the exception of coaster, natch). And I thought maybe he and I would be friendly. But then I felt like every time I talked he was completely tuned out and then he would talk about himself and zone out while I was talking. So I got kind of tired of it and quit really interacting with him, and at this point I think I am actually more social with Asperger's.
Well, Frank has what appears to be a date over. Seriously I am sitting across the kitchen table from her writing about her. I am such an asshole. But, really, he shows pretty much the same disinterest in her as he shows in conversations with me.
This is actually really hilarious. I want to live blog all of his dates. Obviously he is interested because he just asked her to a movie on Sunday.
But then she was like, oh well I might have to go to this open house on Sunday.
So then he's like...um...oh yeah, that's cool...I was just...you know...asking...
haha. I love observing awkwardness so much.

Anyway, now I feel bad that I wrote Frank off and I feel like there is all this tension every time we are in the same room because we don't interact at all. And also I am usually seething with bitterness that Lucy loves him more than she loves me. Obviously that's just how he is all the time. Maybe he really wanted to be friends at first and then I wrote him off because he has poor social skills and I thought he didn't want to talk.
He is really a boring person. He probably falls on the autism spectrum too. He speaks in a serious monotone. I should make him talk to me when I have insomnia.

Man I wish I had a webcam for this date. Haha...it's kind of painful.
They're sitting across the room from each other.
I can't tell how she feels about him since she pretty much denied his sunday movie invite.

I should really live blog, like minute by minute. There's just silence right now.

Still silence.

A slight chuckle from Frank because he has ESPN on because he is apparently a jerk. Who keeps ESPN on during their date?

Now the girl just nodded at nothing. She talks really fast but I don't know if it's because that's how she always is or she is just so nervous in Frank's awesome presence. Or maybe she feels like she's being observed, which she is.

Ok, enough of my creepiness for now.

Silence.

3 comments:

AndSheWas said...

Um, how romantic could that date have been if you were watching? Not that you're the one to blame here - he should have had the forethought to ask you to be somewhere else, or to not have had the date at your apartment.

I sometimes thought to write more about my ex-roommate because of these painful situations he would find himself in. Like, this one time he had this girl he met online come stay at our apartment, and for some reason, even though they were friends, she told him she'd share a bed with him. I don't mean to get all "blame the naive girl" here, but when you tell a guy that you will sleep in the same bed with him even after he has mentioned his inflatable mattress, it's natural for the dude to think that you are romantically interested.

So before this girl even comes up to visit, he's talking to me about her, and he's excited. I got excited for him - the kid has only ever had one girlfriend, and at 26 had only slept with one girl.

When she arrived, I was the best host - we went to the bar, and I bought everyone rounds of beer, was engaging her in convo, etc. At one point when my roomie was out of the room, I asked her if she was interested in him, and she was shocked I would ask such a thing - apparently, she had no romantic intentions with my roommate in mind. Even though she was sleeping in the same bed with him. AND THEN we went to a pool hall, and she had the audacity to tell me that I was immature. Because I am a nice person, I didn't fire back with a "well at least I'm not a stupid cock-tease bitch who likes to keep men who I have no intention of getting with interested in me so I can feel better about myself," but it did cross my mind.

Her entire stay, my roommate was trying to be a total gentleman in his awkward way, but when she left, he confessed that she had told him that she still has feelings for her ex and wasn't ready to get into another relationship. I should have informed him that any outsider could see that she was a greasy-haired weirdo who worshiped Sailor Moon, thus he shouldn't waste his time, but really, that is the only kind of chick he ever has a chance with -girls with greasy hair who worship Sailor Moon.

Caitastrophe said...

hahaha it must have been in my myspace blog where I wrote about what a Sailor Moon fan I was in high school. Preeetyy awesome. Although there is a huge difference between a 16 year old sailor moon geek and a 26 year old sailor moon geek.

Also, I should prob post this on your blog, but I keep meaning to congratulate you on the move and new job and leaving the most pathetic roommate ever.

Business Horse said...

This is why I expose myself to women right when I meet them. Really helps me gauge their level of interest.