So I went on a reconnaissance mission last night to a bar that has an open-mic stand up night every other Monday where my friend thinks I should go for my next gig. It turns out that I should have gone before my own show because then I might have felt less tragic after mine. There were 4 comics plus a host. The host wasn't especially funny. One of the comics was really funny and the three others were ok funny. But it was clear that they all thought they were doing worse than they really were, even the really funny guy who had the audience laughing out loud pretty consistently made a couple of comments about how it wasn't going well. Clearly it's hard to tell when you're on stage what the actual reactions of the audience were. I also got some ideas for if/when I do it again in terms of setting up jokes, etc. The host wasn't particularly funny mostly because her thing was just a string of random jokes. The funniest guy had the most connected set of jokes with the best segues and they were also told more in story form. Things to note. I am thinking I will go back next time and in the meantime maybe check out a few actual comedy clubs and continue my spy mission.
Unfortunately I was at dinner with some people the other day and tried out one of my new jokes that I thought was funny and it hardly got anything. Oh well.

In other news I have been hanging out with this guy that so far seems like he will never end up in dating disasters. Sorry fans.

Everyone has an Office Space day sometimes

Peter: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, uh, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me- and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour.
Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.




This was my schedule today:
9:00: Supposed to come in
9:30: Actually came in
9:30-12: Look at blogs, update facebook, twirl around in my chair, look at missed connections.
12-1: Actual work!
1-2: Lunch
2:15: Actually got back from lunch
2:15-2:30: Actual work!
2:30-3:15: Talk with coworkers
3:15-4:15: Actual work!
4:15-4:30: Think about what actual work I need to do tomorrow.
4:30-4:45: Talk to sister on IM
4:45-5: Write this blog.

2.25 hours of actual work today. Not too bad.

brother can you spare a dime

Pretty much every news story and commercial you see these days includes a phrase along the lines of "in times like these", "in hard times" or"in today's economy". I have seen the recession used to sell tickets to Mary Poppins (in times like these, you need to see this uplifting musical), car insurance (can't afford to take chances), phone plans (in times like these, we need rollover minutes). The recession is the explanation for the increase in lottery ticket purchases...and food stamp applications. People even talk about "these hard times" and the increase in obesity (people eat cheaper, less nutritious food when they broke...true dat yo...that's why there are so many fried chicken places in my neighborhood and so few vegetable options).
Anyway...this is the thing...you know how when there is a tsunami in thailand or wherever and you feel kind of bad about it, but really it has nothing to do with you, and while you realize how terrible it is you have a hard time mustering any actual empathy? Maybe that's just me? Well, that's how I feel about the recession.
It really affects me in absolutely no way...except for that now my bank is owned by Chase and I think they increased the APR on my credit card. But besides that? Teenagers will always be out of control, people will always be crazy...so my job isn't at risk. I am making more money than I have ever made...and since the previous 2 years involved me having absolutely no income, I feel like the sultan of Dubai over here AND living on pretty much nothing gave me some decent budgeting skills so I'm used to living on the cheap. I am pretty sure that the $100 I have in savings isn't going anywhere, and I'm not worried about my declining 401K because I cashed it out two years ago for grad school.

Basically, what I'm saying is....unemployment and a master's degree were my recession...and now I'm all New Deal and chicken in every pot and stuff.

I think there should be a new area of marketing...and it should be like, "Hey, you...hey, things are ok! Go shopping!"

mental/fitness

I need to go to the gym, so I am taking my time getting there. it closes at 8...sometimes I sniggle enough and successfully manage to not make it before it closes.
I guess I do kind of have a new year's resolution...I have been talking about doing a duathalon (running and biking) for like a year and a half. It had become a joke because it is this thing that i talk about and say i am TOTALLY committed to..and then it doesn't happen. Last fall I was going to do one, and then last spring, and then this past fall...But, this time I'm committed for real. There are two in April, one in Prospect Park and one in Central Park, so I want to be ready to do one of those. It's about 3 miles running, 10 miles biking and then another 3 miles running. Right now I could probably do half of that, slowly. While crying the entire time. But I'm working up to it.
Also, my mom and I are doing a bike new york thing in May where you ride through the 4 boroughs and it's 42 miles. It's not a race really and apparently you can take the whole day to do it if you want to, so it's not the tour de france over here...but it's a lot more than biking 10 miles at the gym while watching Jeopardy.

I watched Jeopardy twice this week while on the bike. On the first day the champion's interesting anecdote was that one time a female friend of his was in the hospital and he had to go buy a dress for her and announced to the whole store that it was for a friend. On day two his anecdote was that he had a dog who liked halloween....and by halloween he apparently meant that the dog liked it when kids came to the door and he would get all up in their shit. When he first said it I was kind of hopeful, like maybe the dog went and picked out his own costumes or could hand out candy to kids. But no. He liked to be obnoxious at the door and slobber all over children.
I hope that if I am ever on Jeopardy I have something more interesting to talk about than that once I bought an outfit for the opposite gender as an act of kindness and that I had an animal that acted like an animal. In reality I probably will just tell Lucy and Linus stories the whole time. Or talk about the Duggars or something.
Alex Trebec will be like "Caitlin, a social worker from Brooklyn New York...I hear you have a hidden talent? Tell us about that"
And then I would kind of giggle awkwardly and say "Well Alex I can name all 18 of the Duggar children in order of their birth."
And then I would start off all "Josh, Jana, John-David, Jill" and then he would have to cut me off and it would be embarrassing. And then I would lose because the whole time I would be replaying my interesting anecdote in my head and wouldn't be able to focus on European history.
What a disaster.
BUT if I do my duathalon I can say that I am a duathlete or a multi-sport athlete or that I have biked through all 5 boroughs in one day. It will show that I am well rounded. Anyway I better get to the gym or I will end up, well, rounded. HA!

Here are some webcomics...

...that reflect current events
(in my life. i don't care about russia or DNC's. When's that next Duggar special, btw?)

if all these years of searching find one sympathetic face, it's there i'll plant these seeds and make my home

I should be exercising or working on finals. Thus. Blog.

My position on my future changes daily, as people know. After the roach incident I was really feeling at peace about moving to Portland. Then my mom told me that if the only reason I would go back to Oregon is because of money, that she and my dad would be willing to help me out until I get a job. Goddamn my loving parents and their generosity! So then I got all confused again. Would I move back to Oregon just for money reasons? I do not know. There is a lot of stuff I miss there. There is stuff I would miss here if I left. And then I was thinking, I am 25, I have like 60 more years to live in Oregon if I want to. I can always move back there, but if I live New York I will probably never move back. Today's plan is to stay for at least 6 more months and just experience it. Check back next week for my new plan.
Oh, another reason i would stay, is because I feel like if I leave New York, then it means that New York won. Which is stupid. In the battle between yourself and New York City, always bet on the city, it'll kick your ass every time.

Things are winding down with school and with my placement. I have been tangling with my supervisor a little bit, and we had it out on Thursday. It actually ended up being a good discussion. She had done my semester eval and I felt like it was unfair and not reflective of how the whole year had been. So we talked about it. And our discussion led to a talk about the way I interact with people. Even if you don't know me and you just read my blog you probably have figured out I have some troubles with authority figures. I am super critical, I don't like to be told what to do and the consensus from all of my supervisors in graduate school has been that I am arrogant. In talking with my current supervisor about this, I said, "This may surprise you, but I've actually always been this way" She laughed. Apparently it wasn't a big surprise. I told her about in 5th grade how I got sent to principal every day for a week for talking back to my French teacher. Turns out he's a child molester. True story. And that's why I will never regret being this way. I told S. that. I said, I can appreciate the feedback, but my general insubordination is actually something I never intend to change about myself. There are a million other things I would love to change. But not that. I never want to mindlessly take direction. I never want to respect people simply because they are in a position of authority and have done nothing to earn my respect. I never want to keep my mouth shut. But I wouldn't mind learning how to be more diplomatic about it.
I tend to forget that I am like this with all authority figures. I will blame it on S. because she has ridiculous standards and is too inflexible. Or on Camille because she was crazy. Or on my asshole supervisor in Eugene because he was an asshole. Or Monsieur Mike for being a child molester. Or Mr. DiPaolo my high school religion teacher because he is an idiot for not believing in birth control. And on and on. And then I start to realize, that it's really just everyone in authority ever.
I just found an old supervisor from a job I had at Scripps. I had forgotten about my insubordination problems with her. By the time I graduated she and I were actually ok, but we had a rough start. I don't even remember what the deal was. I got written up for a negative attitude one time, which was funny. I talked too much to other people during work, because I was funny and they loved it! I wouldn't follow the script (this was a job making fundraising calls. we had a script that I thought was awkward). I was terrible at getting people to increase their donations. A business woman I am not. Anyway, point being, is that I am not who you would want to choose to supervise. I don't ever want to change having a critical mind and being honest about it, but I wouldn't mind learning how to be a little bit easier to work with.

Nerding out

I need to be doing some work, so I was reading boingboing.net, which is nerdy enough to start. And I read this post about fish who can supposedly count because they will go with groups of 4 fish versus 3 fish. And I was like, what, no, that does not mean they can count, that just means they can see that a group of fish is bigger. So then I'm like, what kind of a nerd cares if fish can count or just perceive size? Turns out, me and about 30 other boingboing readers who commented echoing my sentiments.
And that is your daily nerd alert.